Why You Need a Lindsay

You need a Lindsay. And I’m going to tell you why.

The love of my sister Lindsay AMAZES me. She is one of the greatest gifts in my life. Do you know why? She gives me the most precious of things: unconditional love, and the complete freedom to be myself.

If you’re like me, you sometimes wonder if you’re really unconditionally loved. Yes, people love you: family, spouses, etc.  But let’s be honest. Do you ever feel like they only love you because it’s in their job description? Or perhaps you think they might love you NOW, but if they EVER discovered X, Y, and Z, they would turn and run as fast as they could. Or maybe you feel like if you stop living up to EXACTLY who and what they want you to be, then they will see how unworthy you are of love.

But that’s the thing about unconditional love. THERE ARE NO CLAUSES. There is no job description that they have to live up to. They might discover X, Y, and Z, or maybe they already know it—and it DOESN’T MATTER. And maybe you stop living up to who and what they think you should be, just to discover 1) They never thought that in the first place, and 2) They are just so glad that you’re being YOU that it doesn’t matter HOW you do it.

That’s the second part: freedom to be yourself. This is what I have learned from my sister Lindsay. ImageI can be the exact mess of a person I am, and she still somehow loves me. Not just loves me, but thinks I’m AWESOME. (No, I’m serious, she really does. No bribes or anything.) She thinks my silly words are brilliant and my lame jokes are hilarious. Some days I am depressed and moody and stressed. That’s ok with her. It’s just a good excuse to go get ice cream so we can eat it and talk, cry, or whatever. I can express my worst feelings and most terrible thoughts, and Lindsay listens and wants to hear more. That’s a GIFT, people. It’s hard to find.

But it CAN be found. So here’s your challenge: start looking for your Lindsays. You may not think you can find that love and freedom, but I believe you can. It may be someone you already know, but you simply haven’t realized it yet. Stop trying to fit into their “perception” of you and let them love your imperfections.

So risk some things. Be a little silly. Say something dumb. Let people see the real you…because very possibly, they will LOVE it. That’s what I’m learning from my sister.

I am praying you find your Lindsay, too. And then, be a Lindsay for someone else.

Advertisements

“Kindred Spirits, Always” (In Which I Discover How Much I Need Friends)

Well I had promised you a post today, and I even had one in mind that I wanted to write about. (Maybe I still will, and you can see it next week or maybe even get two posts in one week.) But it didn’t get written because I fell asleep and took a long nap. So originally I decided I would write it tomorrow, but since I’m lying in bed and can’t sleep yet, I decided I might write a different post from my phone (thanks WordPress app).

Tonight I am especially thankful for my friends. I’ve kind of gone through a rough depressive episode over the last few months, and I dealt with it by withdrawing from almost everyone but my immediate family. Maybe I needed that time completely to myself, but now I regret dropping out of the lives of so many that I cared about. Perhaps it could have made things easier if I was connecting with people the way I should have. We weren’t meant to do life alone, but in my dark days, I was trying to.

Slowly over the last month I have begun to reconnect with people and friends, whether that’s online on Facebook, by finally shooting them a text again, or starting to hang out once more. Friends are important, and they are a gift. I want to learn to be more real with them, to allow them to support me in my struggles and that they can let me support them as well.

It is worth learning to let people in. It’s worth learning to trust them, to trust they won’t run away when things get hard. Some of them really do want to be there for you no matter what…let’s learn to let them. And to be thankful for them.

I finally texted one of my dearest friends tonight after being silent for a few months, feeling so guilty for neglecting such a special friendship. I asked her to forgive me. She responded right away, starting with “Precious Katy…” and sweet forgiving words of love. She ended “Let’s catch up more soon ok? I love you… We are kindred spirits always.”

Her sweet response drew me to tears. That’s what I’m so thankful for: the blessing and gift of unconditional friendships and love. May we seek to be that, to cultivate it, and to hold onto it as we treasure it always.

Thank you to the friends who have always been there for me. You know who you are. I love you and am thankful for you.